Caitlin and The Friendly Earthquake23 August, 2011
Today was this transsexual woman’s first day in the classroom. The students in general are not handling things well. I am ignored, mocked, stared at, and insulted. Over all it is much like being a new attraction in the zoo. They stare in through the open door or through the window of the closed-door then stand in the hallway commenting. I have consistently been referred to as an “it” and one student walked out of class. I understand how he feels. After first period I was ready to walk out and not come back. I got out to the parking lot and was in my car with keys in hand. But something held me back. Maybe I’m stubborn. Maybe I’m masochistic. Maybe I just realize nothing worth having comes without struggle. Any way you slice it, I’m a bit insane and lot touched.
Parent reaction will hit sometime this evening or tomorrow morning. I’m vaguely curious about it, but at the same time I do not want to know a thing. Maybe they can find me a nice desk job somewhere.
Now, as if my day wasn’t surreal enough, we had an earthquake. Just after one-thirty there was a tremor in the ceiling. At first, I thought there were kids running around upstairs but it kept getting worse. Soon the lights were swaying and standing was like trying to keep your feet on a floor made of Jell-O. I had kids running around and screaming. Some made a dash for the hallway, which wasn’t safe as the ceiling tiles out there, and a few cinder blocks, crashed down like the tablets Moses shattered. We evacuated the building and kept the kids on the football field until the buses came. The fire department needs to inspect the school to determine if it is structurally sound enough to have classes tomorrow.
The earthquake coinciding with my first day with the students was bad timing. I overheard a few of them talking as they linked the earthquake and me via religious fanaticism. Apparently, god, pissed that a “faggot tranny” is teaching at the school, punished the county by shaking the school down to its foundations. I guess everyone up to New York and down to Atlanta are just friendly fire.
All in all, I have had worse days but not by much. I don’t know if my calm through out the day is due to dissociating or if the estrogen has made it easier for me to cope without getting angry. Perhaps both, but either way maintaining calm is a plus.
- The Problem of Self and Regeneration (a Caitlin On . . . post) (caitlinsong.wordpress.com)