Why is it always “What were you wearing?” and “Why were you out there?” and “What did you do that might have encouraged him?” and “Why were you with him if you didn’t want it on some level?”
Why isn’t it “How could you treat another human that way?” or “Why do you so profoundly lack morals?” or “How could you feel so entitled?” or “Why did you treat another human like an object you could (ab)use and dispose of?”
Why is our society more concerned about sheilding a man’s or a boy’s–but really still a man’s because if you’re old enough to rape someone you are old enough to take responsibility–potential career than the life he ruined? Why is his image worth more than the woman (usually) who will go through her life scarred and scared. Afraid to be alone. Afraid to get her car from the parking garage. Afraid to to walk down the street. Afraid to be noticed.
When did women become the expected gatekeepers of their rapists’ sexual urges? Why aren’t the rapists, the molesters, the abusers held to even half the standard the victim is held to? Why is the victim blamed from one side of the mouth while the other side spews assailant apologetics?
From Jacob ignoring Dinah’s rape to the “decent” white folk ignoring the rapes of an unknown number of black women in the Jim Crow south to the adults obstructing the investigation into Trent and Ma’lik’s rape and public humiliation of a sixteen year-old girl to the police officers telling trans women they should expect to be treated like that given their “lifestyles” it has never been about preventing these things from happening, just laying the blame by the victims’ battered, bleeding bodies.