Posts Tagged ‘trans men’

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Ten Things Cis Allies Can Do To Help Trans People

1 April, 2017

I received another ask recently about what cisgender allies can do to support transgender people. So, here are ten things a cisgender person can do to support transgender people.

1. Educate yourself by reading and listening to trans women and trans men on what it is to be trans. Sounds simple, but you’d be surprised how many people value what cisgender (from the Latin prefix cis, meaning the same or same side of, the medical term denoting people who are not transgender) people say about being transgender rather than what transgender people have to say. I recommend five books to start: “Whipping Girl” by Julia Serano, “Redefining Realness” by Janet Mock, “Transgender Warriors” by Leslie Feinberg (trans masculine writer and author of “Stone Butch Blues”), “A Transgender History of the United States” by Susan Striker, and the essay collection “Manning Up: Transsexual Men on Finding Brotherhood, Family & Themselves Connected.” Along with this is the important task of educating yourself in proper terminology to avoid micro-aggressions–the GLAAD media reference guide is a good starting place.

2. Follow trans inclusive media that has trans women and men writing for them. My personal favourites are Mey Rude on Autostraddle, Kat Callahan on Jezebel, and Samantha Allen on The Daily Beast. Feministing.com has good stuff, too.

3. Donate to trans groups and charities, e.g. The Transgender Law Center and the National Center for Transgender Education. Donate time or money to local charities that are explicitly transgender inclusive.

4. When people you know are being transphobic or trans misogynistic, correct them. Having someone standing up for us in everyday situations is the most powerful support we have. Educate the people around you and work to dispel the misunderstandings and lies believed by the average person.

5. Write to your local, state, and national legislatures. Demand they stand against transphobic bills, praise them for trans inclusive actions, and suggest changes that can be enacted​, like non-discrimination policies that specifically include transgender people.

6. Do not buy from companies with anti-transgender policies, donations, and/or attitudes such as Chic-Fil-A, Brilla Pasta, Jelly Belly, or Urban Outfitters. Do buy from transgender inclusive companies like Starbucks, Apple, or Amazon. The HRC maintains a record of and inclusiveness ratings for many companies (and politicians).

7. Get one of these #IllGoWithYou buttons and be ready to support transgender women, transgender men, and non binary people when accessing public restrooms (note: the restroom a person feels comfortable using will vary depending on presentation and how far along a transperson is in their social transition). This is huge because trans people experience medical complications as a result of avoiding restrooms for 8 to 12 hours everyday: urinary track infections, kidney problems, and malnutrition from not eating or drinking all day so they won’t need a bathroom. Not to mention the verbal and physical attacks they face. According to a 2013 survey in DC, 65% of transgender people have been denied access to, verbally harassed in, or physically assaulted in public bathrooms. It may seems like a little thing to cisgender people who use public bathrooms regularly without incident, but it can be life or death to transgender people.

8. When you receive good service from a transgender employee take a minute to tell their manager. Everyday managers receive complaints about transgender employees just because they are transgender. By complimenting their customer service, work ethic, et cetera, you provide a counter-narrative to the “I’m offended you employee a trans person” complaints. If employers see only negative responses to a trans employee’s presence they will terminate the employee–even in the handful of states that have non-discrimination policies. By taking a few minutes to compliment them, you could literally save their job and prevent them from having to seek alternative sources of employment (sex work is often the only viable alternative for trans women).

9. Know that even in places with laws against discriminating actions towards transgender people in housing, employment, healthcare​, and education people still find subtle and malicious ways to discriminate.

10. Listen. Listen to what transgender people say and take their fears and concerns seriously, even when it may not align with what you have experienced. The worst thing that can happen to a victim of harassment, abuse, or discrimination is having their experiences minimised.

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Trans Women and Socialisation

12 March, 2017

Author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie recently stated that trans women are not actually women because they have “male socialisation.” I find this proclamation of hers infuriating because it is a cleaned up and repackaged version of Janice Raymond’s bigotry. She may try to cover over this bigotry by saying trans women have a place in feminism and trans issues are part of feminism, but that does not negate her instance that trans women are not women and her implied relegation of trans women to a second class citizenship in feminism (and third class within society).

Adichie’s attitudes are revealed as the bigotry they are through a thoughtful consideration of trans female experience of socialisation. First, and most important, we must acknowledge there is no singular trans woman experience any more than there is a singular cis woman experience.

Second, not experiencing overt female socialisation does not mean a trans woman experienced overt male socialisation. Rather, she would internalise female socialisation, thought patterns, and mannerisms. Some of these women (for, indeed, trans women ARE women), e.g. Kristen Beck, may adapt and mimic male socialisation patterns as a survival instinct while internally identifying with female socialisation patterns, which she may easily switch to upon social transition. These female socialisation patterns might have a more exaggerated appearance, but would be genuine socialisation patterns. Other trans women may not have adapted to male socialisation mimicking. These women, e.g. Laverne Cox and Janet Mock, may have defied society’s attempt at male socialisation. Expressing their gender identity early on and being punished for their refusal to adapt to male socialisation. This creates a trans female socialisation where they are punished for failure to conform to male standards and punished for adherence to female social standards–including those cis women are rewarded by society for integrating into their identity. Further, we are now seeing trans women who begin social and physical transition at an early age, e.g. Jazz Jennings. She and girls like her, receive more traditional cis female socialisation from those who are accepting and trans female socialisation from a rejecting society.

Third, trans women who transition later in life and who mimic male social patterns do not possess typical male privilege. Instead they possess male presenting or male passing privilege. In this instance because they appear to be a cis male and mimic cis male behaviours they do receive some male privilege benifits, but these benefits create a type of cognitive dissonance for the not socially transitioned trans woman because she does not identify as male and feels like a fraud stealing what does not belong to her and living in fear of being exposed. She is either self-aware that those privileges were received due to an unfair perception of gender identity or she quickly learns this after social transition.

Regardless, each of these trans women have 

1) received, absorbed, and integrated or rejected traditional female socialisation;

2) they are more aware of male socialisation patterns than cis women because it was forced on them (which is NOT the same as adapting and internalising male socialisation);

3) they possess a unique trans female socialisation, which gives them a valuable voice when discussing female identity and intersectionality.

All of this is to say, trans women are not men; trans women are not a third gender; trans women are women.

It is, also, important to note that trans men receive the mirror opposite type of socialisation that affects them in their own unique ways. Further, male privilege that they develop post transition will always be influenced by attempts at female socialisation foisted on them and further influenced by how accepted or not their gender non-conforming behaviours were as a child.

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What Bathroom Bills Are Really Doing

23 February, 2017

Let’s breakdown what the anti-transgender/public privacy bathroom bills and laws are really doing.
(1) The laws are unenforceable without a bathroom attendant checking people’s birth certificates so
(2) It encourages citizens to make personal judgements based on what a person looks like leading to
(3) The unofficial nod to approve cis men and cis women carrying out vigilante justice against suspected transgender citizens (unless you live in Texas or Kansas where politicians openly endorsed vigilante enforcement).
(4) The number of transgender children and adults who don’t eat or drink so they can last eight hours without using a public bathroom will rise past the 1 out of 3 it is already at. Meaning,
(5) More and more transgender people will develop malnutrition, dehydration, UTIs, and other negative health consequences. Further,
(6) Students and employees’ concentration, productivity, and effectiveness will suffer and impair their ability to get an education that can lead to successful employment or hold onto employment if gained.
(7) Without an education and viable employment they will not have an income and will be unable to secure housing, food, and healthcare.
(8) They will not be able to use shelters due to the same gender enforcement laws that affected them in school and public accommodations so they will be forced to seek alternative housing and illicit jobs (prostitution being the most common).
(9) Living on the streets and performing survival sex work will further endanger their health and physical safety and
(10) Will eventually lead to an early and likely violent death.
So, really, it is not, nor was it ever, about bathroom safety. Rather, it is the legislative genocide of a minoritised group.

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Tonight/Tomorrow: A Poem for 23 Lives

20 November, 2016

​Tonight the storm is strong and the winds are bitter. Tonight 23 transgender people are remembered, whether they are trans women, trans men, or gender fluid. Tonight we whisper 23 names in the dark.

Tonight we remember 23 hard earned lives that were lived with strength. Tonight we eulogise 23 lives abruptly ended this past year by people possessed by hatred, by fear, by violence. Tonight we hold hands, we circle one another, and we grieve.

Tomorrow we draw the circle wider and yet wider again. Tomorrow we seek with our feet and comfort with our hands. Tomorrow we reach out and draw our neighbours in with open arms.

Tomorrow we stand with our heads high and our eyes open. Tomorrow we stand firm in the face of hatred and discrimination. Tomorrow we say no to hate and we act with love.

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Trans* DOs and DON’Ts

24 April, 2012

I am transsexual . . .

do treat me like you would anyone else.

do respect my name and my pronouns. If it is not clear what my pronouns are you may politely ask. Generally, a trans woman goes by she and a trans man by he.

if you make a mistake with pronouns, do politely apologise and then continue with the conversation.

do not ask me what my birth name was. That is private and a source of anxiety for many trans* people.

do not ask me about any surgeries I may or may not have had. That is the business of the trans* person only.

do not assume things about me. Do not assume I am straight or gay, liberal or conservative, happy or unhappy, married or single. We are all different.

do not assume a trans* person wants to teach you about trans* issues. Some trans* people find this very hard to discuss; others are comfortable answering questions. Everyone has a different comfort level.

do not touch me inappropriately. Some people think it is okay to touch trans* people’s bodies to see if things are real. If you would not touch someone else that way do not touch a trans* person that way.

do not “out” me. Do not tell some else I am trans*. The only person who has the right to reveal if someone is trans* is the trans* person. If you reveal it you could embarrasses them or even put their safety and life at risk.

do not say, “But you are really a man (or woman),” “I still see the man (or woman) in you,” or “You pass really well.” These are very insulting comments and are often used as a way to invalidate that person’s gender identity.